|Conscious|Conclusion|

June 28, 2009

Wrote this in the midst of class, faded on brain power, and failing at emotional stability, thus…

My ears have three…

The Bad

Remember sudden tragedy so you can breath a new existence into being afraid of living. Forget your courage and submit to your fears, dependency will recluse copies of a foreseen fail of you, don’t be a stranger to regret…


The Good


Remember the joy that’s brought back mortal souls from a painless death. Create visions of utopia for the life of you future, and congratulate the past for creating your change. Involve the world in your love and understand why we all are one…

The Truth

Remember the walk to your finish line as the painful and beautiful journey it’s been. Escape your illusions of despair and fall victim to fulfillment of ambition. We are who we aren’t, because we can choose to be it all. Don’t forget to learn the lesson of every fall…

What More Can I Say?

June 7, 2009

Old School

Old School

I just found this unpublished draft sitting in my draft section, and it only contained a Picture and a title saying “what more can I say” I don’t remember making that the title, but I do remember I was going to write a review on one of my favorite artist of all time, but now that I look back on it I’m going to stick with the title, what more?

some references for the lookers

One of my Favorite pac songs

another

this is one of those song I just vibe with for long periods of time a “me against the world” mood get this o.d.(most Pac songs are like that for me) lol

I remember when I first heard this song, I was young and this was just that song that I’d play when my highs were the highest and my lows were the lowest, as I stared at the world through my rearview

I could do this all year lol but I’m getting into a deep ‘pac Mode, I’m going to go rummage through my cds, and put juice on the screen…


NOW I remember why I gave it that title, can’t believe I forgot, I LOVE this song “it’s ain’t nothing like the oldschool” talk about cosigning EVERYTHING I love this song “that the old school to me” I’m a 90s kid and I can still relate to the old school feel this song brings up I can’t describe in a billion words how dope this song is

now really…

there is more that I can say…
But I’ll leave it to the birds :)

Is it important to define everything


As if definite understanding is discovered by a species of beings |ill|capable of understanding they know nothing?How does your evidence of truth out rule my evidence of creativity? Why can’t I redefine a word if redefining my existence has become an everyday occurrence?


Life as we know it is a mystery that’s been solved, the conclusion:We Don’t K|no|w. So with evidence of no evidence of you existing outside of my dreams you are as real to me as these words, this opinion, correction: This Apple. Since my existence is sculptural so is my dictionary. My apple is my opinion |I’m a PC| Webster is behind…I can’t be caught up to(o).


I’m bored it’s 11 in the am, and this was a conversation between me, myself and ?EYE decided to jump in and let my fingers in on it as well, that’s how it ended up here :)

Gettin’ lite cuz my heads been headed for the guillotine BEHEADED
A case of insanity…they say I’m insane…
Cuz my mental images are unframed…
They lack borders to keep them from falling outside of the box…
Borderline suicidal thoughts… of creativity
Juxtaposed by my (ill)phrenic fingers, holding on to (ill)existing walls in attempts to hold back (ME)…
But I’ll cremate myself before they bury me…my thoughts (I mean)…
because what’s the point of living if I can’t think?
Veganism doesn’t appeal to me… plus I’m way too fruity to aspire to a vegetated state…
Thus Thou Relate? or am I really that crazy?
Are my illusions so rabbit that a muzzle is needed?
Should I continue to allow these prophetic perceptions of…anything go untreated?
Medicated therapy compresses thought…
PROVOKING the opposite of change…
Now THAT’S insane…so maybe I’m ok…at least…according to my reasoning…

Do you think I’m crazy (too)?

AYE I don’t follow beats I Lead them…

So don’t judge the structure of my poem (but if you want to That’s fine too (: )

Hunger Pains-

(MY EARS) read what you were feeding

but my mind was so hungry I couldn’t process the sound

but as the words sink into the belly of my brain I feel the heart burning pain

seeping passed my mind and into my frame

settling in my stomach waiting…unclaimed

But give me time and I will receive it

No need to repeat it, because it’s already there

I’m just playing catch up with the beats from your snare

I’m a few beats behind, I’m on a slow processing line

Cuz my hearts been receiving bad blood

So it’s not beating like it should

That same sad song rumbling from my belly

Your words SOUNDS fed into the cause

A Replenishing love of thought

EVERY MORSEL YOU THREW I CAUGHT

By Means of DESPERATION

I’ve been starving and all that CONSERVATION

of thought was truly unsettling

_______________________________________________________________

I was being battered with that same old sad song

Rumbling. Churning Growing.

Into nothing but old sediment that continued to settle in (constipation)

Broken from that hinderous repetition relaxing my mental bowels from that overbearing empty stool

It feels good to have food (:

Psh… I can rhyme when I want to...

Peace.

I personally had been waiting for this for awhile, but it seemed like it was just gonna keep being postponed, and I hella forgot about it. I didn’t get hip to it til about 1 week after he released it, and might I say….It was kinda worth the wait.


drake_so_far_gone-front-large1

Drake Drizzy Mixtape So Far Gone Cover Art

Drake: So Far Gone
Let me start off by saying, I had no idea what to expect from this mixtape, but when I heard “Say what’s real” awhile back I knew it was something to be anticipated. I wasn’t disappointed at all, when I first gave this a full listen through I was not at all let down by the homie, and I haven’t stopped listening to it since. Aside from his dope rhyming skills he expresses a lot more vocally as well. Aside from “Brand New” which has become a favorite to a lot of people, I think “Sooner or Later” is definitely a strong track right along with “Best I ever had”. One of my favorite tracks (not that I have ANY I would consider not a favorite) off the mixtape would have to be “Lets Call It Off” original version by PB&J (Peter, Bjorn, and John). It’s completely different from what you’re used to hearing from this dude, but I definitely wouldn’t put it past him. There are a lot of artist attempting to blend genres and he’s definitely not the first, or the last but I think he does it very well. I can relate to the tone ,which to me comes off as more serious or heavier than his previous mixtapes.
At times the flow of the mixtape in it’s entirety gets lost in the various collabs. Which is why I’m not a big fan of too many collabs on an artist’s cd. At time it can make the main artist seem more the feature , as if the sound was sculpted to fit the style of the featured artist. Unlike Comeback season, There are a few songs that could have been taken from other mixtapes or even inspired their own entire album on it’s on, but together they don’t seem to have a constant flow. I skip around a lot more than I do when listening to Comeback Season.
Aside from the many collabs,This definitely seems like the most personal of all the mixtapes, and a lot more heart has been put into it. He talks about his career thus far, and explores the everything from breakups to obsessions.

I respect how divers all three of his mixtapes have been, and he’s shown definite growth with every new project, and I think he’s coming into his own. Can’t wait to see what’s next from Drake.

This is just a small ration of my thoughts regarding SO Far Gone, didn’t want to make this too long.
I want to know what other people think of it, so leave a comment a voice your opinion.
Overall… I think it was dope, what do you think?

If you want to get at me personally

RuptureElusive@aol.com

Peace


Didn’t really mention much about this above, but this is def a favorite, and gets the most play right now. Enjoy

It’s Been Thought

March 13, 2009

He said I couldn’t be as great as him…

She said I couldn’t be as smart as her…

They said I couldn’t change the world like them…

but I say I can be a greater, smarter, world changing ME than they combined could ever be…

________________________________…_

Unwritten scrolls of the future haunt me in my sleep

Abruptly I wake up dripping in thoughts

nervously shaking, mumbling expressions of subsequent time

I have to catch my breath and adapt back to the present

Cooling Down

I’m slowing catching my breath, but with every inhale of oxygen follows an exhale of memory

Those scrolls are slowing burning away and I’m knowingly feeding the flames…

________________________________________________________________

My memories fade and I’m left to wonder

What?

When?

Why?

My mind’s in line for the answer but I ticket says “1000”

“Number 5 next!”

It had to have been important, I remember tales of my future…or was it fables of my past?

written centuries ago by someone farther up the bloodline, passing down the forgotten to me for future reference

Or…A glimpse at my future ascendancy to failure

I’m not saying I’m doomed to fail but it’s definitely an option…

Trumpet-Re:View

March 10, 2009

trumpet

Disclaimer:I came across this book unexpectedly about 6 months ago. I didn’t start reading it until about 2 months ago, and I’m what you’d call a book hopper. I’ve currently hopping between about 5 books right now, and I have yet to finish this book. So this is my review on what I’ve read so far, and just my overall opinion of the idea of the story.

Trumpet: A novel


|Summary|

This book has a plot unique to any other I’ve read before. It’s about A famous trumpet player named Joss Moody, and the story starts off with his death. Throughout the story you’re taken into the minds of those close to him in both life and death. What makes this such an interesting story is the secret that he kept from all but his wife, which is only revealed after his passing. Joss Moody was originally born Josephine Moore, A Woman.

|My Thoughts|

I love the idea of this book, as I earlier stated, I have never came across a book like this. It cultivates a vivid picture of his life through the memories of his friends and family. The author (Jackie Kay) does a great job at presenting the divers perspectives of some of the people affected by the unknown truth of his past. I feel for his widow, Millicent Moody, who was forced the burden of her husbands secret. She wasn’t given any time for mourning, and was suffering from the loss of her husband and the disloyalty of her son. Although, I can understand how her son, Coleman Moody, could feel betrayed or resent them for keeping such consequential information from him his entire life. The relationship between the two of them is one of the main things that  captivated me the most about this story, Even during the flashbacks they seem to lack a mutual connection and I think the unveiling of Joss Moody brought that to light.

Concluding, So far I find the to be an excellent read and I recommend that everyone take it in for themselves. A great book for anyone interested in lgbtq (mostly focusing on the “T”) literature, but it should definitely not be limited to anyone. I applaud Jackie Kay for creating such an intriguing story, and I look forward to finishing this book and exploring her other work in the future. So for all you book readers check it out. These are just my opinions of the book (rather what I’ve read so far), and if you’ve read or are reading this book I’d love to know what you think about it.

so…yeah…

Peace

I”ve refuse to admit abandonment, but I will agree to neglect

I have been focused on myself so much that I’ve neglected absorbing myself into your…

I know I promise that I’ll keep you in touch…but…

I have NOT abandoned you, I’ve just had a lot of issues going on in my life…

My lack of post/contact has nothing to do with you…

It’s not that I’ve bored of filling you UP (in)

I’ve just been…busy

I won’t promise you more of me, but I will make an effort to visit you more…

and talk (into) you more…

__f___i_____|FA___c_____t|____i_____o_____n________________________________________

…|Style of the FREE variety|…

Fictions. Facts. my lines blurred a long time ago

Fiction holds more TRUTH than fact, because there are no lies…fictions is what it is…unreal

as with fact…lies can creep into “creditable” details when edited by a homo (sinner) sapient

Made up stories never lie to me…

That’s why I tell you I’m fiction, everything about me is made from a creator who’s mind imagines wonders far beyond fables of magic beans and candy land

I’m unreal, and that’s what makes me so true

I’m creations as are you…

Mhmmmmm.

Side note…. it’s 9:11 a.m…March 08 2009… I haven’t slept since 4.00 a.m. March 07 2009…

Insomnia….(Narcolepsy kicks in…NOW) a bunch of random thoughts put together with out much thought of order…just raw goodness for all you lucky stumblers who happen across these unsettles words that once brewed in the belly of my brains :)

peace

-Thought temperature-

March 6, 2009

If you’re happy and you know it (don’t show it)

Cheerful and you wanna shout? (shut your mouth)

___________________________________________

My life is a parody of pain, cycles of bitter pissed off memories make up the plot

I beg for a reason to say “see it does suck” only to be struck down by the hand of my own luck

real pain sneaks in during the screening, and I’m surprised to see it staring me in the face

Hurt isn’t artificial, no matter how hard I squint my dry eyes

-patience is key-

Wait long enough and before you know it failures calling with regret on 3way, talking about a three way…

it’s too much for me to take in, I just wanted a quickie maybe one at a time but I know they like to stick around for more than just one

The movie’s over, and I wish I could have change the ending

and make it never ending

because I don’t want to go home…